As a mother of 4 third culture kids (TCK), aged 10 to 23, I´ve seen first hand how parenting expectations and practices vary across cultures and school systems.
Raising kids while moving countries has taught me a lot – but one lesson stands out above all: 𝘄𝗲 𝗼𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺.
I´ve caught myself solving problems my kids should have faced on their own: answering questions they could have figured out, stepping into school or sports issues they should have resolved, and even rescuing them from boredom.
It´s easy to fall into the trap, especially when other parents are doing the same.
🤷♂️Think of all the WhatsApp chats where we debate every detail of homework or organize playdates weeks in advance (have you ever counted the number of messages you get per child, per week, per WhatsApp group😮 – how many of you feel nowadays as the personal assistants of your children🤷♂️) – sometimes it really feels like adults are doing all the growing for kids.
💡But there is the trick: 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝘂𝗽!
One small change made a big difference in our home. When my kids (especially the younger ones) say: ‘I´m so bored, what can I do?’, instead of rushing to entertain, I hold the emotions and reply: ‘I wonder, what you´re going to do about it?’ The reaction is often very emotional😉
After a while, however, the kids find ways to entertain themselves and solve their problem of boredom. Additionally, by allowing them to struggle for a bit, you, as a parent, enable their self -esteem to grow.
How do you balance helping your kids versus letting them learn on their own?